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Friday, December 08, 2006 

A Half-Baked Post

The droplets of water sliding down the glass pane tell me that there had been a shower, while I was sleeping and dreaming of the rains. Did I sleep so deep that I failed to hear the downpour? My head is feeling so heavy, just like it does after a night of endless drinking. But last night I didn't go anywhere...didn't touch a drop of alcohol. After a day of heavy work at the office, I came back straight to my house, ate my solitary dinner and went to sleep after having a coffee and a cigarette.

But where's that coffee cup, I distinctly remember putting it on the bedside table ? It's not there anymore. May be woke up in the middle of the night and must've kept it back in the kitchen. Not willing to waste anymore time on a stale cup, I look for my cigarette pack. It is also missing from where I always keep it - the drawer in the bedside table. I had kept it myself there the very last night. Even the accompanying lighter is not there. A bit angry and a bit confused I jump out of the bed, and take a look around.

Everything seems the same...untouched in the same state that I saw before going to bed. Must've left the cigarette and lighter in kitchen I think when I went to keep the cup. I open the bed-room door and look at the hall. All's as they should be....but my head still feels very heavy. Must be the take-away dinner last night that had done the damage. Thinking a gulp of cold water might do the trick, I walk down the hallway and reach the kitchen.


A great relief comes to see the kitchen in the same messy state that I normally leave it, before compelled to clean when someone else pays a visit. While I pour the whole bottle of water down my throat I'm startled once again to find that last night's plate is missing too from the sink where it was dumped post-dinner. Baffled, all I did was letting out a loud mouthed, "Shit...what did I do last night?" All that I remembered was that I had the dinner, the coffee and the smoke in that perfect order and then went to sleep between the sheets.

Then I take a look at the clothes I am wearing...they're totally different from what I put on last night before hitting the bed. When did I change them? With a wave of panic gushing over my failing memory, I try to check for the evidence of any other human being whose presence here last night might do the explanation bit. My short-lived detective experience meets a dead end.


The wardrobe is left intact - un-ironed clothes tucked into bundles, ironed clothes lying gloriously waiting to be picked up and worn. The wallet lies folded beside the changes neatly arranged in heaps. Even the few valuable earthly goodies like the TV set,laptop,iPod in my possesion stand untouched in the same manner as my other invaluables like the heap of used under-garments dumped around the corner. After ensuring that there is no one hiding under the bed, I just felt like laughing at my paranoid behavior.

But my smile turns to a frown as soon as I step out in the hallway again. This time I can see a piece of my coffee cup, now broken peeking from under the sofa. The heavy feeling inside my head feels even heavier as I kneel down to check. I find my cigarette packet emptied and lying next to the lighter under the sofa along with the broken cup. Since a broken cup and empty cigarette pack are of no use, I try to pick up the lighter which still has some usefulness left.


Surprisingly it feels hot as if it had been put off just now after lit for several minutes. Even though the heat was bearable the uncanniness compels me to throw the lighter away hastily .It hits the floor with a dull thud and the lighter lights up automatically just like that. Very soon there are short flames shooting up from floor below.

I try to extinguish the fire by stamping my feet in vain....the flames keeps on leaping. I rush towards the kitchen to get water....the tap dries out. I look for anything and everything that can be used to put off the fire. Suddenly the whole house seems so empty. I take out my tee-shirt and beat over the jumping flames only to watch hopelessly the apparel getting engulfed in the spreading flames. I drop it down just seconds before the fire could pull my hand.

My head is weighing about a ton now. I am barely able to lift my chin up while struggling to breathe in the thick smoke that is filling up the room quickly. Deciding to desert my burning house I make a dash towards the doors. I yell out loud as my hands burn trying to pull out the heated door-knob. Even with all my strength the door doesn't even open an inch. Glimpses of what happened last night comes back just like jumping frames on a movie screen. While the flashback images freeze inside my frozen mind, the door finally pulls out and I jump out in the open.

As I feel the sunlight in my eyes, I wake up on my bed. The stained coffee cup stands quietly as a detained student on the table - guilt-laden but intact. Inside the drawer lies the cigarette pack and the lighter just like I left them last night. I look at me to see that I'm wearing the same clothes that I went to sleep in. Satisfied with the restored sanity, I pull over the sheets and go back to sleep, back to my dreams.
The droplets of water sliding down the glass pane tell me that there had been a shower, while I was sleeping and dreaming of the fires.

okay now this may sound weird but I'm almost positive there was a diff post here last week. Bear with me till I get my head all cleared before I can leave a comment for this one.

M:No need to clear up a perfectly clear head.Actually that post was a less weirder dream of mine inside another wierd dream.I am now feeling like a sleep-walker walking from one scenario to another.The journey is such fun.

This tells me that I have not been here for a long time, though I had thought that I had been here...or was I dreaming?
I was relieved at the end, I was almost sure that you would end it with death....macabre thoughts indeed...my apologies...:)

Aparna: Seems like I've not been able to live or rather die upto my killing reputation :)

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